We tend to lose ourselves in the judgment of others.
Sometimes the way you’ll think about yourself can define how people see you. That’s why it’s so important to have self-confidence and know who you really are. On the journey of knowing yourself at a higher level, you’ll discover that you’re actually a very good person.
Our generation has been going through a lot lately. It’s not easy being an adult these days. Maybe we got kind of lost between the ages and weren’t prepared for the loneliness waiting for us.
We tend to be afraid to create connections. With family, with friends, with nature, with work, with ourselves! – Why is that such a recurrent problem for millennials?
We here to understand how to create significant connections with our surroundings, of course. But we can”t start doing that without trying to really get to know who we are first. To let people in, you’ll have to learn how to let yourself in.
It seems an even harder job, but building a strong bond with yourself can be crucial in your way of searching for happiness and meaningful relationships.
So, how can we do that? How can we feel less lost about ourselves and find a way to connect to the person we truly are? In the video “5 REASONS You Feel Lost In Life & How To FIND YOURSELF!” Brene Brown and Lewis Howes will go through these social interaction problems our generation faces on a daily basis and talk about ways to bond with the most important person in the world: yourself.
Belong…
to yourself!
If you have the courage to stand alone, as Brene Brown says, it gets easier to belong to yourself.
Belonging, says Brene, is being part of something bigger. To pursue that, you’ll have to have the guts to be okay and enjoy being on your own. We’re not saying you’re not supposed to ask for help if you need it or be with people you love. It’s all about enjoying and caring about your own company and having a great time, even by yourself. Not just that, but also not denying who you are, where you came from and what you love to fit in somewhere. If you are pretending to be accepted, you’re not being truly accepted.
Tip: The more you love yourself, the less time you waste with people and places that simply weren’t made for you.
“I belong everywhere I go, as long as I never betray myself” – Brene Brown.
Create a pleasant routine!
That one can be tricky at first, but once you get on moving, you’ll notice the difference it will make! Value your hobbies and interests, try to do a pleasant activity just for you at least every other day. We get so stuck in our obligations and responsibilities
We’re not saying that you should start a crazy diet or do exercises you hate, ok? God forbid!
But it’s nice to start doing an interesting activity you’ve always wanted, but never had the guts to just start doing it. The important thing is to find pleasure in activities and exercises that make you physically and mentally healthier. It’s a great way to pamper yourself, to really value your health and well-being.
Repeat it until you believe it!
Sometimes our thoughts can betray us. Sometimes they’re our worst enemy. Many millennials face the problem of seeing themselves as awful, horrible people. They won’t go easy on themselves. Why do we do that? – Well, mostly because we want to anticipate the criticism of others. In theory, it hurts less when we are the ones roasting ourselves.
But this behavior will actually make you hate everything about yourself. It will be harder to notice all the good things you have to offer. We can’t forget that our feelings will reflect on others, so the chances of not being liked, loved, or even seen by people are higher when they notice you hate everything you represent.
Tips:
- Take notes. About who you are, what makes you laugh, what makes you cry, what your favorite hobbies are, all that jazz.
- Every bad thought you have about yourself, deny it. Fight your bad feelings and thoughts. Say out loud, repeat it: “I’m a good person and I love who I am”.
- There’s no magic to make you value yourself, but there’s mental training. Repeat your good traits out loud until you believe they’re true. Do not accept bashing, even if it’s coming from your own mind.
Value yourself and your time!
Being adaptable is great to increase your chances of connecting with other people – BUT you cannot and should not forget to value your time.
It’s okay to ask yourself: “Is it worth it? Is it worth my precious time?”
There has nothing to do with being selfish or self-centered. It’s about knowing your priorities. You are your priority, nothing wrong with that. We often push ourselves to people, places, jobs, situations that are clearly not making us happy, or comfortable, or nothing but miserable.
We learn that if we leave, we’re rude. Selfish. Arrogant. But hey, that’s not true. When you won’t spare yourself from hours of an awful situation just to be “polite”, you’re actually disrespecting yourself. Try not to accept wasting time with things that won’t bring any good to you.
Accept your journey of “figuring it out” might never end!
The path of understanding who you truly are might be long and constant. That’s not a problem, ok? It’s actually normal since humans are such complex creatures.
It is not going to be easy, or fast. But it’s worth it. Be open to comprehending your thoughts and feelings, to understand and be sure of what makes you closer to happiness and personal fulfillment.
Know yourself!
“Why is my reflection someone I don’t know?”
This song from Mulan might hit you harder when you grow old. We get it, sometimes we lost ourselves in the judgment of others. We often base who we are on what other people have told us. What can we do to avoid that feeling of not knowing our true selves?
The pressure of being cool can drive us crazy. The necessity to adapt ourselves to fit in a certain group is often overwhelming and makes us even more distant from learning about ourselves.
- Allow yourself to be vulnerable: Brene Brown says most people understand vulnerability as a weakness. Actually, when you allow yourself to feel, to think, to love, to live deeply, without being afraid to seem weak, that’s when you’re being the bravest.
- Open up to discover how you feel, what you feel, and why you feel.
- Face the discomfort: As Brene says in the video, “Discomfort is a great enemy of courage.” It can make you freeze and simply decide not to do whatever you wanna do. Facing the new, the situation that scares us is so important for us to understand our own behaviors facing hard situations.
“If you voice your fear, you take away its power” – Brene Brown
